Changing for the Better

I have been away from blogging for several months now because of lots of changes in my life. I took a break from blogging because of so many other things going on and I needed to concentrate and most importantly, pray.

In August 2012, I returned to work after having been off work for one year and nearly completly resigning from my position (All but one document had been submitted so I was able to return to work, I am so happy to have had that one missing document). I returned to work the same week as my son's very first birthday and I was absolutely devastated with going back and leaving him. My mother came to my home to stay with me and it worked out for the best in terms of child care, she took my older two girls to and from school since I no longer could. I was not all that happy about my mother coming to stay with me, we do not have a mother daughter bond like most, but I was appreciative of her being there because I could not go to work without her help.

Shortly after my mother came to stay with us, she began to confide in me she was not feeling all that well and was having some issues with her digestive system. I had encouraged her to go to the doctor's and not take any "quick fix" solution remedy answers from the doctor. After several visits, a colonoscopy was finally scheduled, my mother had been diagnosed with colon cancer before we could even get our minds wrapped around all of the testing. She had surgery on November 15,2012. The surgery was successful and my mother did not need to have chemotherapy, that was a wonderful holiday miracle.

My home life had been rocky for quite some time, my marriage had been very unhealthy and unhappy, and the truth of the matter is, I was tired of holding on and living a lie about how bad things were. My daughters were really concerned for me and had been expressing their feelings to others and sharing some things with me for quite some time, I did the very best I could to keep hoping for the best and trying to find ways to open dialogue regarding the issues, however my words fell on deaf ears. I filed for divorce in October and the papers were served in November. I am happy about changing my life for the better,  I know that things will be tough, I cannot pretend there is not a child involved in this situation, nor can I deny the amount of stress divorce is causing.

In a marriage, there is no one that is completely without responsibility for issues, I do acknowledge there were probably things I could have done differently, I do acknowledge there are things that may have been visible and a problem long before either of us elected to say anything, I also know that in the future, communication will have to be more deliberate and open in order for there to be success in my relationships.

There have been really happy moments in my life despite the stressors, I am glad to see my oldest daughter looking at colleges and taking the next steps in her life; I am delighted to see my middle daughter becoming more prepared for high school, she is still my baby but she is growing up. And my precious son, is learning and growing each day. My children are the joy of my life and I cherish every thing about them, I am grateful to have been selected by God to be their mother.  

My goals for 2013

Believe in God for all things I am concerned with

Create furnishings and Decor for my home

Convert Jai's crib to a tufted bed

Select fabric for Jai

Paint a toddler table and chairs set for the toddler room

Spend more time reading

Travel

Treat myself to new clothing and accessories

Continue to exercise and shed pounds and inches

Continue to bake and try new recipes

Laugh more

Sing more

Take the baby to the Zoo, Aquariums and Live Character Shows he likes

Decorate a fabulous Celebration Dinner for Morgan's Graduation

Journal

Write down 10 Things I am Grateful for Everyday

I have wanted to blog and stay connected but have been in survival mode for quite some time, I am feeling like myself now and I am confident the new year will bring more happiness. I pray the same for you and your families!

Best,

Summer

(Christmas) Wish List

This year I decided to treat myself to new magazine subscriptions and HGTV Magazine was a natural choice for me since I am trying to become more crafty and DIY capable. I must say that in two magazines, I have learned a lot about my style and what I want to do with my new living space. Here are a few items on my Christmas list this year, however if I don't get around to them until March, May or later in the next year, that will be okay too!

For my love of all things orange:

My stove has been missing a little daily punch of orange and this kettle is just the thing to bring my kitchen a little happiness! Although more than I would ever ordinarily justify as an expense for a tea kettle, I simply must have her.

Le Creuset Whistling Tea Kettle

For years now, I have loved Rachael Ray, and I have wanted this dutch oven for longer than I can remember, sadly I am unable to find it for purchase brand new, I will be checking out sites and lurking around in hopes that I may find this lovely piece.

Rachael Ray 7 quart dutch oven 

Over the years, and most recently since my children have become older, I realize I have not yet come to the stage where expensive dishes are appreciated. This doesn't mean that I have to have the most boring dishes on the planet, I decided on white, and Walmart has a set that makes me happy, if a dish winds up chipped, I won't go off the deep end.

via

10 Strawberry Street Nova Square Banquet 45 pc. Set

In addition to new white dishes, I need to add serving and bake ware to the cabinets, I have needed a white pie plate and porcelain bundt pan for the longest time, I think now that I am making lists, I will add these items back to it!

Smarta Pie Plate, White

I saw a bundt very similar to this at a local thrift store, I should have picked it up and ran away with it. I am sure it's gone now.

Ceramic bundt pan

This Serving bowl will make a nice statement on the dining room table.

Smarta Serving Bowl, White

Storage containers that are transparent will make not only preparing meals and desserts easier, but shopping more accurate, as I will be able to see what's needed much more easily. Ikea has such affordable pricing and the sizes are perfect! I Think I will need 4 of each container.

Ikea Burken Jar with lid

I think I will have to treat myself to a few of the lesser priced items before the holiday season is over, then work my way up to the larger items.I can picture my kitchen coming together in my mind, I will also be on the hunt for more neutral almond and beige colors to compliment the orange.

My Sanctuary - Dreaming Big

I love the tufted bed in my master bedroom right now. It's a very easy piece of furniture to decorate around. I love the simplicity of the bed.

(all images found on o.co)

I will be using my settee in my bedroom, it is currently in the formal living room. I am very attached to this piece for some reason. I am so glad I purchased it.

These chairs are a must in my bedroom. I am rethinking what needs to be purchased first in my home...Love these chairs!

I love the classic simplicity of this duvet cover set. I love the colors and finding other complimenting colors to put in the bedroom will be lots of fun. This bedding feels very mature and feminine.

My secretary will again be in the master bedroom, I am looking forward to finding a great chair similar to this, I hope to cover it in a fabric that will compliment the patterns and colors I am going to use.

A Love of My Own

For YEARS now, I have been stalking decor magazines searching for the perfect "dream kitchen" that I was determined to one day have in my home... My search was all but all consuming, even if I had no finances to put a kitchen in place. I have found some kitchens that can be done (or at least I hope so) in a smaller kitchen that make me smile.

I love this kitchen, it has all the elements I want in my own space, the only thing missing would be subway tile... I simply must have a tile backs plash in my kitchen.

I found all the elements I wanted in this kitchen, its bright, has black countertops and subway tile. I kept searching and found the kitchen I knew would work for me.

And here it is! Somehow, I will make this kitchen a reality for my home.   

I love every single aspect of this kitchen, I am sure I will have to find a way to incorporate a small peninsula into the kitchen, as I am looking for a townhome, but I simply must have appliances, cabinets, faucets, tile and flooring that come really close to this design. I now must begin my pricing mission for similar items in this kitchen.