Change is a GOOD Thing!

With so many changes in my life, I have a lot to keep me busy. Both of my daughters are graduating from school this summer and heading on to the next phases. My oldest daughter is off to college and my middle child is headed to high school. My darling baby is rapidly becoming an independent toddler and I see how much change has happened in just one year. Having so many changes in their lives is keeping me busy, however having time to reflect and concentrate has allowed me to focus on what the next phase in our lives should look like. One of the first steps in getting myself and the children situated was locating new housing. Here is the floor plan of our new apartment home.

                                           Family Room

I am so excited about the amount of space we will have! We will have a 1785 square foot apartment home to make new memories and grow in. My goal of home ownership as a single woman is still very much in the plan, however I have to be fair to my pocket and work on some regrouping; so that when I do purchase my home, I am not only pleased about the purchase, but pleased with my pocket book. In the meantime, my children and I can enjoy the apartment and have some fun doing projects around the house, I am so excited to decorate!  

With so much space, I decided to really let my creative juices flow! 
(on a budget of course) I decided to start in the room that will have the most traffic,

Here is the plan for the family room:

Tons of light both natural and light brought in with colors that feel free and clean. I plan to have several pieces from local thrift stores such as an ottoman I refinished, a side table and chair that have all been re-purposed specifically for the family room.

Here are the fabrics I will make into pillows for the sofa.

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1. Premier Prints Lulu Stripe Slub Yellow/Taupe 2. Waverly Lovely Lattice Sateen Aqua 3. Premier Prints Towers Dossett Mandarin Turquoise

I decided to do something I never do, go wild with color. I must admit, I love earth tones and muted colors, I have always decorated with neutral tones that were comfortable to me. I have been working on doing things I have never done before, so decor was no exception! I decided to go with Aqua/Teal and mustard with taupe shades because I thought they felt the most awake and alive and would inspire me to do more in the family room. A couple weekends ago, I was in Home Goods and decided to walk over to Hobby Lobby, I am so glad I did. I picked up two canvas prints that confirmed my color scheme. I felt more confident about tying everything together in the family room.

I am going to play it safe and get a comfy sofa that is child friendly and dress it up with my pillows, here are two of the options I love for the sofa:



1. EKTORP Sofa, Risane beige  2. HOVÅS Sofa, Gräddö off-white

I was inspired to create wall art for the family room also - since my goal is to create things and enjoy the process of making things for my home, I decided I will put more energy into making the apartment feel designed for me; I want to feel excited about coming home and being in my apartment. I cannot wait to complete this project, I already purchased the spray paint and canvas

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/39-easy-diy-ways-to-create-art-for-your-walls

To add storage to the family room, I wan to put two book cases side-by-side on the wall opposite the fireplace to the left. I plan to paint the backing of the cases or if I am lucky enough to find fabric, I will cover them for a little extra umph! I don't plan on making a big fuss about an expense like this since I am experimenting with fabric and color so I will probably go with this book case from Walmart.



www.walmart.com

I am so very excited about the new adventure my children and I are about to embark upon! I cannot wait to see the look  on their faces when we relocate and have so much space to enjoy ourselves in. I look forward to making things for my home, I am enjoying the process of re-writing my life story.

Summer

Mainstays White Book

10 Things I am Grateful For:

1.       Healthy Children; Even if they are working on my last nerve by not keeping their rooms clean or doing things when I ask, I am grateful to be able to look into my children’s faces every day. I know that some other parents around the world are not as fortunate.

2.       Having a stable job- I work for the County of Riverside, I see persons come in everyday from all walks of life, who are at the point of desperation and applying for public assistance, I know all about that life, I was once on aid myself. I am grateful to have the job I have, the experiences I have had at this office and the experiences I will have to come.

3.       Friends who love me – I am grateful to have friends who love and support me, especially through a dark period in my life. This transition is a big step for me; a lot of my life is hanging in the balance of starting over. I am grateful to have friends who support me as I travel through this phase.

4.       Birds singing when I wake up: Where would I be without the constant reminder of a new day? I am so grateful to God that he sends a constant reminder of a fresh new start right outside my window every day.

5.       A mind to pray- I am so grateful for the training I received as a child, the love and devotion for the Lord that I saw from my elders, teachers, relatives and friends. I have learned to pray constantly, no matter what/when or where. When I am really troubled, I pray, when I am really happy, I pray, when I am lonely, I pray and when I am discouraged, I pray. I learned all of these things through examples from others and I am grateful for that.

6.       My son’s smile: Nothing brightens my day more than seeing my son smile at me. He is so little and so innocent, I adore his happy little outlook on things and his eagerness to give me kisses and hugs when I come in a room or just because. He really brightens my day!

7.       A positive outlook: There are days when I am worried about everything, I worry about bills, my children, my ability to care for them to the caliber of my liking, my ability to see this transition in my life to its completion, knowing that there is better for us on the other side, I am glad to have the ability to look on the bright side, even if at first, I may not believe there is one.

8.       Music: These days, I listen to a lot of music. I listen to whatever is going to work for me, songs or albums that stir up nostalgia, or songs that are new and really resonate with me, I am listening for hope, I am listening for love, I am listening for motivation. I am grateful have the pleasure of listening to music.

9.       Opportunities for change: I am grateful that life doesn’t require that you stick to one thing, or stay in one lane, life is meant to be lived and I am working on living it more fully and completely, so that I may find what joy there is for me.

10.   Time: While it seems time passes by so quickly, I am grateful to have time to enjoy my children, learn to know and love myself more, learn to trust again, learn to love more deeply and find love in my own life again.

Changing for the Better

I have been away from blogging for several months now because of lots of changes in my life. I took a break from blogging because of so many other things going on and I needed to concentrate and most importantly, pray.

In August 2012, I returned to work after having been off work for one year and nearly completly resigning from my position (All but one document had been submitted so I was able to return to work, I am so happy to have had that one missing document). I returned to work the same week as my son's very first birthday and I was absolutely devastated with going back and leaving him. My mother came to my home to stay with me and it worked out for the best in terms of child care, she took my older two girls to and from school since I no longer could. I was not all that happy about my mother coming to stay with me, we do not have a mother daughter bond like most, but I was appreciative of her being there because I could not go to work without her help.

Shortly after my mother came to stay with us, she began to confide in me she was not feeling all that well and was having some issues with her digestive system. I had encouraged her to go to the doctor's and not take any "quick fix" solution remedy answers from the doctor. After several visits, a colonoscopy was finally scheduled, my mother had been diagnosed with colon cancer before we could even get our minds wrapped around all of the testing. She had surgery on November 15,2012. The surgery was successful and my mother did not need to have chemotherapy, that was a wonderful holiday miracle.

My home life had been rocky for quite some time, my marriage had been very unhealthy and unhappy, and the truth of the matter is, I was tired of holding on and living a lie about how bad things were. My daughters were really concerned for me and had been expressing their feelings to others and sharing some things with me for quite some time, I did the very best I could to keep hoping for the best and trying to find ways to open dialogue regarding the issues, however my words fell on deaf ears. I filed for divorce in October and the papers were served in November. I am happy about changing my life for the better,  I know that things will be tough, I cannot pretend there is not a child involved in this situation, nor can I deny the amount of stress divorce is causing.

In a marriage, there is no one that is completely without responsibility for issues, I do acknowledge there were probably things I could have done differently, I do acknowledge there are things that may have been visible and a problem long before either of us elected to say anything, I also know that in the future, communication will have to be more deliberate and open in order for there to be success in my relationships.

There have been really happy moments in my life despite the stressors, I am glad to see my oldest daughter looking at colleges and taking the next steps in her life; I am delighted to see my middle daughter becoming more prepared for high school, she is still my baby but she is growing up. And my precious son, is learning and growing each day. My children are the joy of my life and I cherish every thing about them, I am grateful to have been selected by God to be their mother.  

My goals for 2013

Believe in God for all things I am concerned with

Create furnishings and Decor for my home

Convert Jai's crib to a tufted bed

Select fabric for Jai

Paint a toddler table and chairs set for the toddler room

Spend more time reading

Travel

Treat myself to new clothing and accessories

Continue to exercise and shed pounds and inches

Continue to bake and try new recipes

Laugh more

Sing more

Take the baby to the Zoo, Aquariums and Live Character Shows he likes

Decorate a fabulous Celebration Dinner for Morgan's Graduation

Journal

Write down 10 Things I am Grateful for Everyday

I have wanted to blog and stay connected but have been in survival mode for quite some time, I am feeling like myself now and I am confident the new year will bring more happiness. I pray the same for you and your families!

Best,

Summer